Welcome—I’m so glad you’re here.
Just landing on this page might have taken more courage than you realize. If you’re feeling anxious, overwhelmed, betrayed, or simply exhausted from holding it all together—you’re not alone. Whatever brought you here, I want you to know: healing is possible, and you don’t have to navigate it alone.
As a trauma-informed therapist with specialized training in betrayal trauma, anxiety, and relational healing, I offer a grounded, compassionate space where your story can be met with empathy—not judgment. Our work together will support your journey toward relief from the symptoms that may be disrupting your life—hyper-vigilance, grief, loneliness, numbness—and toward something more: peace, clarity, empowerment, and a deeper connection to your most authentic self.
I’m not a “how does that make you feel” kind of therapist. I believe in real conversations, trauma science, fierce compassion, and when appropriate, a well-placed colorful word to cut through the noise. We’ll bring in your strengths, your pain, your patterns, and your hopes—and we’ll work with all of it.
Whether you’re grappling with betrayal, stuck in old relational cycles, or just know deep down that you can’t keep doing life the way you’ve been doing it, this might be the place where things start to shift.
If you’re ready for something more—more clarity, more confidence, more connection—reach out. Let’s see if we’re a good fit.
Healing is not easy. But it is worth it. And it is absolutely possible.
My Private Therapy Practice
About Kimmy Hunkle
Kimberly “Kimmy” Hunkle, MA is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT #120934), Associate Professional Clinical Counselor (APCC #50057169), Certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor (CADC II #A043920317), and Certified Clinical Partner Specialist (CCPS) through the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS).
She holds a Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology with a specialization in Marriage and Family Therapy, Professional Clinical Counseling, and Depth Psychology from Pacifica Graduate Institute in Santa Barbara, California. She also earned a Bachelor’s degree in Clinical Psychology from (VUSC).
Hi, I’m Kimmy.
I’m a psychotherapist, a mom, a double business owner, and an unapologetically woo-y, kinda-sweary, neurodivergent woman with a deep belief in healing, growth, and hard-earned wisdom.
I’m also a seeker—of Divine Feminine wisdom, of deeper truths, and of the kind of liberation that comes when we stop shrinking to fit a world built by patriarchy. I’m still waiting (impatiently, some days) for the rest of the world to catch up—to lead with empathy, take radical responsibility, and learn to truly see one another.
I’m a mother of two very different children: one who seems to float through life with ease and grace, and one who struggles deeply, which is sometimes heartbreaking to witness. My own journey as a parent, clinician, and woman has taught me that life doesn’t always offer clarity—but it always offers lessons.
In my work, and when appropriate, I share the tales that shaped me: the heartbreaks and betrayals, the Shadow work and the sacred awakenings. I speak from experience—not just as a therapist, but as a human who’s wrestled with shame, anger, heartbreak, and healing. I know what it’s like to rise from devastation and keep rising. And I’ll never ask you to go anywhere I haven’t been willing to go myself.
I work with individuals, couples, families, and groups—supporting people as they navigate recovery from substance use, sex addiction, betrayal trauma, relationship pain, grief, and all the beautifully messy layers that come with being human. Whether you’re picking up the pieces after infidelity, trying to feel whole again in the aftermath of addiction (yours or someone else’s), or simply longing for more peace in your life—I’ve got you.
My style is relational, warm, integrative, and unapologetically direct. I may not be everyone’s cup of tea—and that’s okay. I show up with honesty, compassion, a touch of irreverence when needed, and deep respect for your process.
I blend psychodynamic theory, Internal Family Systems (IFS), mindfulness, emotion regulation strategies, and EMDR (click here to learn what it is and how it works). I work through a deeply trauma-informed lens—not just because of my professional training, but because I’ve lived through betrayal trauma myself.
I know what it’s like to be gaslit, to have my feelings minimized while his behavior was rationalized, justified, and normalized (and I mean not normal behavior). At one point, I ended up in a “properly trained therapists” office thinking I might be bipolar or losing my mind. Thankfully, that she saw what I couldn’t yet name—emotional abuse. She helped me learn to trust my gut (because my body knew I wasn’t safe before my brain caught up). I confronted the situation, gave it four solid years of work, and eventually asked him to leave, because his feet didn’t match his mouth—and I needed both. I let go—without claw marks—I quietly and peacefully let go. I will continue to love him from a different house, one where I am safe.
And I want to be clear: I’ve also seen partners who do have the capacity to change. I’ve witnessed couples heal deeply and build stronger marriages rooted in real intimacy—into-me-see.
I believe healing happens when we feel truly seen—when our stories are honored and we can make sense of our past, build safety in the present, and co-create a next chapter that aligns with your soul’s truth and highest good—where you turn your wounds into wisdom.
If any part of this speaks to your heart, I’d be honored to walk beside you. Let’s see if we’re a good fit.
I am a member of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT), C.G. Jung Club of OC, and Society for Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH).
Personalized Therapy, Backed by Expertise,
and the Dedication to Helping You Get Your Bling Back
Treatment specialization includes:
- EMDR
- Parts Work / IFS
- Betrayal Trauma
- PTSD with SA / Infidelity
- Complex Trauma
- Molestation / Childhood Trauma
- Depression and Anxiety
- Addiction & Recovery
- Couples Counseling
- Family of Origin / Attachment Wounding
- Grief Counseling
- Evidence–Based Mindfulness / Meditation
- Conflict Resolution
- Spiritual Direction
- Reiki Healing
- Shadow Work
Hi, I’m Kimmy. I offer therapy in a safe, down-to-earth space where you can show up just as you are—no judgment, no pressure. I believe healing happens when you feel seen, supported, and truly understood. Together, we’ll tap into your strengths, explore what matters most to you, and move toward real, lasting change. My approach is personalized and compassionate—and yes, when the moment calls for it, I’m not afraid to use a little colorful language to name the hard stuff. Sometimes a well-placed bad word says more than a textbook ever could.
Understanding Trauma: What Happens in the Body — and the Hope for Healing
Trauma is not just something that “happened to you.” It’s what happens inside you as a result of overwhelming or threatening experiences. Whether the trauma is acute (like a car accident), chronic (such as ongoing emotional abuse), or complex (stemming from childhood relational wounding), it deeply impacts how we think, feel, and function — especially in our nervous system.
The Nervous System and Trauma
The human nervous system is designed for protection. In the face of threat, it mobilizes us to fight, flee, freeze, or fawn. This is not weakness — this is biology. When the threat is over, a well-regulated nervous system returns to a state of safety. But trauma can disrupt this cycle, leaving the body stuck in survival mode long after the danger has passed.
You might notice:
- Hypervigilance, anxiety, or irritability
- Numbness, disconnection, or chronic fatigue
- Difficulty trusting others or yourself
- Emotional reactivity or shutdown
- Trouble sleeping or concentrating
These are not character flaws — they are adaptations. Your system did exactly what it needed to survive.
But Here’s the Good News: Healing Is Possible
The same nervous system that holds trauma also holds the capacity for healing. With the right support, safety, and tools, people can move out of survival mode and into what we call post-traumatic growth — a deeper, more integrated way of being in the world.
Healing does not mean the trauma never happened. It means:
- You no longer live as if it’s happening now.
- You feel safe enough to connect with others and with yourself.
- You reclaim your voice, your agency, and your joy.
- You trust yourself and your body again.
What I Believe — and What I’ve Seen
As a trauma-informed therapist, I’ve witnessed people rise from profound pain into greater clarity, courage, and compassion. I’ve had a front row seat of individuals turning “wounds into wisdom” Healing isn’t linear or fast — but it is absolutely possible. I believe you can feel safe in your own skin again. I believe you can rewrite the story your nervous system has been stuck in.
If you’re ready to begin, or begin again — I’d be honored to walk with you.
Betrayal trauma cuts deep—emotionally and biologically. If you’ve discovered your partner’s infidelity, especially when it involves compulsive sexual behavior or addiction, you may feel like the ground beneath you has shattered. One moment you’re angry, the next you’re frozen with fear. You might find yourself forgetting things, questioning your reality, or wondering if you’re somehow to blame. If any of this feels familiar, I want you to hear this clearly: you are not crazy, and you’re not alone.
Many women feel embarrassed, ashamed, or afraid to talk about what they’re going through—even with their closest friends. But isolation only deepens the pain. Healing begins when your experience is understood and validated by someone who truly gets it.
I know this because I’ve been there. I know what it’s like to feel emotionally wrecked by deception, to doubt yourself, and to wonder how you’ll ever trust again. And I also know that healing is absolutely possible.
You don’t have to decide today whether to stay or leave. What you do need is safety, support, and someone who can help you start to make sense of the chaos. The effects of betrayal trauma are real—and they show up in the body, brain, and nervous system. Some common symptoms include:
Trouble concentrating or remembering things
Emotional “whiplash” (swinging between numbness and overwhelm)
Anxiety, hypervigilance, or a sense of dread
Depression, apathy, or feeling like you can’t keep up with daily life
Food and sleep disturbances
Obsessive thoughts, checking behaviors, or a need to “interrogate” for safety
Feeling emotionally hungover, even without drinking
These aren’t signs that you’re weak. They’re trauma responses.
Here are a few gentle things you can start doing right now to support your nervous system and reclaim a sense of stability:
Take the pressure off. You don’t have to make any big decisions today. Safety and clarity come first.
Prioritize rest. Your body and brain are in recovery mode—aim for 7–9 hours of sleep when you can, even if that means naps or quiet time.
Move your body gently. A short walk, stretching, or swaying to music can help shift the stuck energy without overwhelming you.
Practice presence. Try a few minutes of mindfulness or a morning meditation to help anchor you in the now. No perfection required.
Breathe on purpose. Square breathing (inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4) can calm your system. [YouTube has great guides if you want support.]
Stay hydrated. A person cannot heal on caffeine alone. Water supports your brain, mood, and energy—drink up.
Write it down. Journaling can help make sense of the chaos. Don’t worry about grammar—just let it out.
Reach out. Call or text someone safe—even if your voice shakes. Connection is a lifeline. You don’t have to do this alone.
And one more thing that’s really important: If you decide to work with a therapist, make sure they are trained in betrayal trauma. Well-meaning but untrained professionals can unintentionally cause harm or retraumatize you by missing the dynamics at play. This isn’t just “marriage trouble.” It’s complex trauma, and it deserves to be treated that way.
As a therapist trained through APSATS (Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists), and personally trained by both Dr. Omar Minwalla and Barb Steffens—two pioneers in the field—I specialize in working with betrayal trauma from both a clinical and lived perspective. My role isn’t to rush you through it—but to walk beside you as you find your own way back to clarity, strength, and peace.
You can heal. Not only heal—but grow. This pain doesn’t define you. And I’d be honored to help you remember your worth and rebuild your world.
The Resources That Helped Me Not Lose My Sh*t
Books, Podcasts & More (Everything Bluish-Green is Clickable)”
Partner Betrayal Trauma: Truth, Tears, Laughter & Tools: Betrayal Support Links
Kimmy’s MUST Read! 5 eBook Series. Download for $19.95 from Posarc: eBook1: Discovery, eBook2: Post-Discovery Hidden Sexual Behaviors, eBook3: Boundaries, eBook4: Recovering from Infidelity, eBook5: The Betrayer’s Obligations -by Lili Bee
Blogs
chumplady.com –“Written by a woman after my own heart. When you’ve been ‘chumped by a cake-eater,’ you don’t need ‘everything happens for a reason’ nonsense — you need someone who can call out the mindf*ckery, make you laugh at your life unraveling like a slow-motion train wreck, and drop the f-bombs you’re too polite to say out loud. This blog is that gift.”
Psychopaths and Love “A powerful resource for understanding the devastation of relationships with psychopaths (now referred to as Anti-Social Personality disorder) and how to begin healing from the emotional and Psychological wounds they leave behind.”
Betrayal Trauma Book List (with links)
See the bluish – green text? That means it’s an Amazon link. If you buy something, I may earn a small commission — with zero extra cost to you — and it helps me keep building this resource (and fueling my coffee habit) for those who need it.”
Psychopath Free: Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships with Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other Toxic People by Jackson MacKenzie “Of all the books I’ve read, this one made the biggest impact.”
Whole Again: Healing Your Heart and Your True Self After Toxic Relationships And Emotional Abuse – by Jackson MacKenzie Written by the same author as the book above. “This one guides you on what to do next in your healing journey.”
Sexually Addicted Spouse – by Barbara Steffens “You are not crazy. You are traumatized — and you can heal. I was personally trained by Dr. Barbara Steffens, and this book continues to be one of the most powerful tools I recommend”
Why Does He Do That – by Lundy Bancroft “Understanding the mindset of abusive men — and reclaiming your power.”
In Sheep’s Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People – by Dr. George Simon “Unmasking covert manipulators — teaches you how to protect yourself and also a book that finally explains subtle manipulation, gaslighting, and hidden aggression — so you can trust your instincts again.”
Healing from Hidden Abuse – by Shannon Thomas “When Psychological abuse is hidden, the trauma is real. This book gently guides you through the recovery process with validation and clarity.”
Intimate Deception – by Sheri Keffer. “One of my most recommended resources for betrayal trauma, it includes some religious content, but even those who aren’t religious find the insights incredibly helpful.”
The Language of Emotions – by Karla McLaren. “emotions aren’t the problem – not knowing what they’re trying to tell you is this book helps you finally make sense of your emotional world.”
Boundaries After Pathological Relationship – by Adelyn Birch. “Reclaiming your boundaries after manipulation isn’t just part of healing – it’s essential to fully restoring your safety and sense of self. This clear compassionate guide shows you how.”
The Betrayal Bond – by Partrick Carnes. “Breaking free from trauma bonds is one of them hardest – and most importance steps in healing. This book shows you how.”
Don’t Call it Love – by Patrick Carnes. “When love becomes entangled with addiction and betrayal, this book offers clear, compassionate guidance for understanding, and breaking free.”
Podcasts
Betrayal Recovery Radio – APSATS
Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries –Victoria Priya (formerly Vicki Tidwell Palmer)
Helping Couples Heal – (KIMMY’S MUST LISTEN) — #7: An incredible interview with Dr. Omar Minwalla — highly recommended.
Betrayal Trauma Recovery “A trauma – informed podcast, providing education, validation, and support for partners impacted by betrayal, trauma, and emotional abuse.”
Sexual Addiction – Carol the Coach
Informative Websites
Posarc – “A trauma dash informed partner – centered, resource, providing education, support, and advocacy, for those navigating the effects of sexual betrayal and addiction.”
The Institute for Sexual Health “Finally, a treatment model developed by Dr. Omar Minwalla that fully recognizes the trauma of sexual betrayal — offering partner-sensitive care, education, and clinical resources.”
Note: Not responsible for the content, claims or representations of the listed sites.
Rates and Insurance
Rates & Insurance
Rates
Individual Therapy: $175 per 50-minute session
Couples Therapy: $200 per 60-minute session
Insurance
I am not currently in-network with any insurance companies. However, if you have a PPO plan with out-of-network benefits, I’m happy to provide you with a superbill (a detailed invoice) that you can submit for potential reimbursement. I can also guide you through the electronic process of how to do this—you’re not on your own.
To better understand your benefits, consider calling your insurance company and asking:
Do I have mental health benefits?
Can I see an out-of-network provider?
What is my deductible, and has it been met?
How many sessions are covered per year?
What percentage is reimbursed per session?
Do I need prior authorization or a referral?
Payment
I use a secure system that requires a debit or credit card on file to schedule your appointment. Your card will be automatically charged the day of your session, so we don’t need to use valuable appointment time handling payments. Easy, streamlined, and one less thing to worry about.
Cancellation Policy
Life happens—I totally get that things come up last minute. My online scheduling system automatically locks appointments 24 hours in advance, so changes can’t be made after that point. You are responsible for managing your appointments, and the full session fee will be charged for missed sessions or late cancellations—regardless of the reason.
I know it can feel a little rigid, but please know: when a session goes unused, someone else who really needed support may have missed out. Thank you for respecting this policy—it helps me hold space for you and others with the presence and consistency you deserve.
Good Stuff I Recommend
Below is a list of recommended groups & books that offer insight, support, and guidance on a variety of topics that may complement your therapy journey.
Addiction & Recovery
Alcoholics Anonymous
Sex Addicts Anonymous
Sober & Peaceful Living
Dee’s House for Women Over 30 Years Old
Family Members Affected by Addiction
BTSG (Betrayal Trauma Support Group) – This is a safe, nurturing space led by a trusted colleague who deeply understands betrayal trauma. If you’re interested in joining, reach out to me and I’ll be happy to share the group leader’s contact information. You will do a quick phone chat with Amanda to make sure it’s the right fit for where you are in your healing journey. This group is filled with people who have walked a path similar to yours. It’s the group no one ever wanted to qualify for—but once you’re in it, you realize how comforting it is to be truly understood and realize you are not the only one.
Magazine for ADHD
Mental Health Care
National Alliance on Mental Illness
Personality Disorders
Suicide Awareness & Hotlines
Crisis Assessment Team (Orange County)
Psychiatric Mobile Response Team (Los Angeles County)
Suicide: Read This First
Personality Tests
Ennegram Test Keirsey (Myers-Briggs)
Trauma “Remote” Support
Note: Not responsible for the content, claims or representations of the listed sites.
Helpful & Informative Books
The following books are listed to provide you with additional material and guidance about various subject matters.
Couples & Intimate Relationships
The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman, Ph.D.
Getting The Love You Want, A Guide for Couples by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D.
Shattered Vows by Debra Laaser. “This book leans a little into the religious side—if that’s your path, great! And even if it’s not usually your vibe, the insights are absolutely worth it.”
Personality Tests
The Road Back to you: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery by Ian Morgan Cron
Personality Disorders
Buddha and the Borderline by Kira Van Gelder
Healing from Hidden Abuse by Shannon Thomas
In Sheeps Clothing by Dr. George Simon
Sociopath Next Door by Martha Stout
Trauma
Psychopath Free : Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships with Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other Toxic People by Jackson MacKenzie (This is one of the books that helped me the most)
Body Keeps Score by Bessel Vanderkolk
Waking the Tiger by Peter Levine
Body Never Lies by Alice Miller
Mothers Who Can’t Love by Susan Forward
Daughters Betrayed by Their Mothers by Holly Kenley
Partner Trauma – See Partner Betrayal TabBelow is a list of recommended books that offer insight, support, and guidance on a variety of topics that may complement your therapy journey.
Your privacy is very important to me. By law, the relationship between a client and a psychotherapist is protected, which means that the information you share in therapy cannot be disclosed without your written permission.
However, there are a few legal exceptions where I am required to break confidentiality:
If there is suspected child abuse, elder abuse, or abuse of a dependent adult, I am legally required to report it to the appropriate authorities immediately.
If you make a serious threat to harm another person, I must notify law enforcement and make reasonable efforts to warn the intended victim.
If you are at risk of seriously harming yourself, I will make every effort to work with you to ensure your safety. If that’s not possible, I may take steps—without your permission—that are legally allowed to protect you.
Important Note About Communication
Text messages and emails are not HIPAA-compliant forms of communication. For your privacy and protection, I can only use text or email to confirm, cancel, or reschedule appointments. All clinical matters must be discussed in person or via a secure platform.
If you ever have questions about your confidentiality or privacy, I’m always open to discussing them with you. Your safety and trust are my top priority.